There’s something magical about love: the stolen glances, the late-night conversations, the warmth of a hand held just right, and the hopeful dreams whispered between two hearts. But what happens when you step into a new relationship with a heart still echoing someone else’s name? It’s a truth many quietly carry, hidden beneath smiles and new beginnings. If you’ve ever wondered whether your current relationship is truly new, or just a way of rewriting an old heartbreak. Here are six signs that you might still be in love with your ex, and this new connection might be your emotional rebound.
You constantly compare your partner to your ex
Maybe it’s not even intentional. It starts with a passing thought: how your ex would have handled that tiff over picking a restaurant for a date night, how they always knew your coffee order, and how effortlessly they made you laugh. If every little gesture from your partner triggers a silent scorecard of comparisons, it might be more than just nostalgia. Especially if you find yourself idealising your ex and conveniently forgetting the reasons it ended. Your current partner deserves to be loved for who they are, not seen as a runner-up in a love story you never quite let go of.
Your ex still lives rent-free in your mind (and conversations)
We all have memories. But if your ex continues to show up, frequently, in your thoughts, dreams, or worse, your conversations, that’s a red flag flapping in wedding white. Perhaps it’s a photo you still haven’t deleted, a message you haven’t responded to, or a ‘just curious’ scroll through their Instagram page on lonely nights.
If you’re finding excuses to mention them in casual chats—”Oh, he used to love Italian food too” or “She and I once went to a beach like that”—you might not be over them. And if you’re talking about your ex more than your current partner? You’re not planning a future; you’re rewriting a memory.
Your “yes” was too quick, or too loud
You said yes, but did it come from joy or panic? People rebound into relationships all the time, and while not every rebound is doomed, if your new relationship feels like a sprint instead of a dance, there might be an emotional reason.
Were you trying to prove something? Maybe to yourself, your friends, or even your ex? Sometimes we chase closure in the wrong places, and a new relationship can become a performative finale to a love that never got the ending we wanted. Did you post pictures of your new partner on Instagram within five minutes, with the perfect lighting and a caption that read suspiciously like a flex? Be honest: was it about moving on, or being seen to have moved on?
You’re still seeking validation from the wrong person
If you’re hoping your ex will find out you’ve moved on and regret losing you, you’re not getting into a new relationship for love; you’re doing it for validation. Maybe you imagined bumping into them while being on a date night or out and about, looking effortlessly radiant. Or maybe you secretly hope they’ll stalk your photos and realise what they lost.
Here’s the truth: closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from within. If a new love feels like a mic drop aimed at your ex, you’re not saying “yes” to your partner—you’re saying “look at me now” to someone who walked away.
You struggle to visualise a future with your partner
New love can feel momentous and spontaneous, but long and strong relationships are made in the mundane—in morning coffees, in compromise, in choosing each other over and over again. If, when you think of your future, you find the mental image is still tied to your ex—imaginary trips you never took, a home you thought you’d build together, kids with their eyes and your nose, you’re emotionally rooted in a relationship that no longer exists.
If you’re fantasising about a past more than you’re planning a future, your new relationship might not be the beginning you need, it might just be a detour.
Your emotions don’t match the moment
You should feel nervous, yes. Overwhelmed, maybe. But deep inside, there should be a flicker of something golden; excitement, peace, love. If instead, you’re feeling hollow, disoriented, or like you’re playing a part, something’s off. Sometimes we can dress up heartbreak in a new partnership and hope it looks like healing, but our emotions know better.
Do you cry thinking about your ex more than you do from joy about your partner? Do you secretly wish they’d a break like a movie scene? It’s dramatic, but real. You can’t fake love.
What now?
First, take a breath, you’re not a bad person for feeling this way. Breakups come with intense emotions, and unresolved love can feel like unfinished business screaming for attention. But if you’ve read these signs and felt a sinking sense of recognition, it’s time to pause. Not necessarily to cancel the wedding (if you’re there already), but to reflect. Confide in someone you trust, and most importantly, ask yourself, Am I doing this because I am in love or because I am afraid to be alone?
The truth is, you deserve a love that feels full, fearless, and forward-facing. So does your partner, because relationships shouldn’t work like a band-aid; it’s a commitment. Make sure your heart is in the room when you make it.
